Sexual Politics?

I was born male, and would be considered cis-gender by most who meet me. I am comfortable being male, and am quite used to being male and comfortable conducting my life as a male. Perhaps the first inkling that I was other than a ‘normal’ male was when I took a personality profile in college. It had a masculinity-femininity index scored from 0 to 99. I could not tell you which end was which, but my score was 49. The counselor who spoke with me hastened to try to tell me that was not an indication of sexual orientation, which I understood anyhow. I find myself sexually attracted to females, both physically and emotionally, and have been married to a woman for over 20 years. I have little or no attraction towards males, and feel no emotional ‘payoff’ from attraction to males. I feel a warmth and tenderness towards women that I do not feel towards men. 

I have generally considered myself to be an androgynous, straight male, though I now lean towards the description of ambi-gender, since androgynous has taken on so many other meanings. More recently, I have on more than one occasion taken another type of ‘sex role inventory’. I tend to score about equally high on male, female, and androgynous. As a rule those who choose to transition from male to female tend to be quite uncomfortable as male. I am not uncomfortable as a male, and do not at all feel inclined to want to elect a path which followed to its conclusion is not fully reversible. At the same time, I feel that if I were to find myself as a female, that after a period of discomfort, I would adapt to that. I could be wrong, and don’t expect ever to put that theory to the test, but that is my feeling.

Perhaps as a result, as far back as college, I found myself attracted to a 'feminist' agenda. I read some of the standard introductory books: Betty Friedan's 'The Feminine Mystique', Germaine Greer's 'The Female Eunuch', Kate Millett's 'Sexual Politics', and Simone de Beauvior's 'The Second Sex'. I subscribed to 'Ms' magazine and joined the National Organization for Women. I went to a few local NOW chapter meetings, and took part in a 'Take Back the Night' march. A few of the women in the chapter wanted to fix me up with a 'nice guy', which offers I politely declined.