Sexism & its Aftermath

I understand the anger, the pain, the frustration, and the fear of many women. Too many men engage in sexual assault and either physical or verbal sexual harassment. All females past puberty, with few exceptions, have been victims of this assault and harassment. The vast majority of men are unwilling to confront this behavior by other men. The reasons are varied but basically come down to pack behavior. Packs of men tend to echo or excuse the behavior of the dominant members and that dominance has a strong sexual and often sexist aspect. Those who challenge the pack mentality quickly find the pack turning on them and often excluding them as well. So why do so few men speak up? Because the ones most likely to speak up have already left the pack either voluntarily or not, and the rest either echo the sexism or are afraid of rejection by the pack. Whether justified or not, it often leaves women feeling, as with one meme I saw recently, that all men are either guilty or tacitly complicit in this sexual abuse.

I was never comfortable with the pack. I didn’t have the same sorts of likes and dislikes as the dominant members. I didn’t care for much of their behavior. I found it preferable to hang with the females, but also found that left me open to suggestions that I was effeminate. I found myself being groped and sexually harassed by men a few times, though nothing compared to what the average woman endures. Still it was enough to leave me with some understanding and sympathy for the women. I attended a few NOW meetings in my area, already being a member. Once they realized that I was not there to cause problems and was not indulging in typical male sexist behavior, I got some offers to set me up with a nice guy, which was not what I wanted either.

Why would I even find myself drawn to a feminist agenda, some might ask. In college, back during the Stone Age, I took a career test which included a masculinity/femininity index. It was scaled from 0 to 99, and given the patriarchal attitudes, I seem to recall 0 was ultra feminine, while 99 was hyper masculine. My score was 49, and the counselor quickly tried to assure me that was not an indication of sexuality, which I already understood. More than anything else, it measured convergence with late 20th century gender stereotypes. I did not adhere to either male or female stereotypes. That left me identifying with the difficulties faced by women. I already had dealt with my own difficulties and accepted that I’d never fit into the male power structure, and in fact did not want to fit in.

Being socially liberal, anti-sexist, and anti-racist, and not being reticent to express my opinions, I’ve found myself attacked by right wing trolls, MRAs, homophobes, racists, and even TERFs. I may even have disagreements with those with whom I am generally in agreement. I was banned from one feminist page after suggesting that even voluntary sex work was in some sense exploitative. Think what you will of me – call me what you will. It will not affect my opinions or my willingness to express them.